Stop listening to the advice of your sisters as it's NONSENSE. The only time you'll encounter significant trouble is if your partner is someone like *** who's pride is high enough that his partner cannot have a higher salary than him. That too is utter nonsense in today's world. Pride will not feed your kids or get them through school. Majority of parents nowadays both have to work just to make ends meet and I find it utterly unfathomable why a guy will not welcome his partner getting a higher salary. Given that the Philippines ranks #5 in the latest gender equality report, then obviously there are a lot of well-salaried women around. If such a woman ends up with a guy who is shallow enough to not accept this then I wholeheartedly recommend that she should dump him quicker than a Japanese bullet train.
Maybe you ended up like that because you didn't have a clear plan how money should be budgeted. I think too many people enter marriage with the "bahala na" attitude to money management or think that discussing it is a bad thing. Well it ain't because the earlier you lay the ground rules the less the troubles later on. I distinctly remember that we had this informal lecture during med school where the speaker (a married man) was detailing various approaches to handling money in married life. His own arrangement with his wife was they each contributed to a common pool for daily expenses, savings, etc. But they set aside a portion exclusively for each of them and more importantly the partner was not allowed to comment on how expensive, useless or whatever that person bought. Because this was bought with his or her "exclusive" funds which did not touch on the common pool. So even if his wife spent 1000$ on a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps it simply meant she saved long enough so that her exclusive funds could buy it. My very good friend (a married woman) has an arrangement with her husband wherein all her earnings are put to savings while his salary is used for daily expenses. But she has her own pool of money for personal necessities so that, as she said in her own words she "wouldn't have to ask for money from her husband to buy napkins or panties." This only illustrates that being clear about how money should be budgeted makes married life easier. ;)
-- edited by Peorth on Nov 21 2014, 09:21 PM
Para kasi sakin ang cheap ng isang relationship pag nag-aaway about money.
This sums it up.
Money. The measure stick of some people. Para sa akin, kung ang dahilan ng lalake para mahalin si babae ay dahil mataas sahod ni babae. Ano to? Sugar mommy? But good for you and your chef bf that this isn't an issue at all. May mga babae akong kaibigan na nasa abroad and earn 10x higher than their bf. Wala din ako masabi sa relationship nila. They started out having no jobs but, just like you, sinuwerte ang babae sa offers. Pero hindi ito nahil hadlang sa kanilang love or treatment with each other. Di rin issue sa kanilang dalawa.
One of them (friend bf&gf), are planning to tie the knot next year at dito na lumalabas ang kulay ng mga sisters ni babae. Pati sa facebook binabash si lalake to the point na nakakahiya na kasi sila tong mga highly educated and mature enough. Pero bilib ako sa mga friends ko. They talked it over and decided that as long as both of them are in agreement, the world does not matter.
Anong gusto ng mga ate ng mga babae? Mayaman na lalake (or at least mas malaki ang sahod) tapos di kasundo ang sister nila?
Don't mind them qpp. Alam kong masaya ka at tama ang mga decisions mo. Inggit lang mga yan na nakahanap ka ng matinong lalake. Ang konti na lang namin at taken pa ang karamihan. Hahaha! Apir!
Yeah, these people think that money/salary/earning power is the measure of your worth as a person. It's just a reflection of how materialistic people are nowadays. Well, I figure these narrow-minded people wouldn't think twice in choosing a rich but corrupt politician over a low-salaried but honest rank-and-file employee.
We started out quite well. I initially made more money and was left in charge of the finances at home. Towards the latter part of our marriage, my wife was given a break and her salary eventually overtook mine. I was still managing the finances at home but she suddenly decided to hold on to her atm card and told me that magbibigay na lang daw siya ng pera kapag kelangan. Pero may toka naman siya sa house expenses like the groceries, electric bill, and phone bills. The rest of those ginawa nyang "personal funds" na nya whereas noon eh ipinapasok namin sa common savings namin complete with monthly report.
Money has a tendency to change people. Especially if they will listen to naysayers around them. This is what happened to my wife and me. And yes, it got very ugly because we had started to fight over money.
At least sa inyo eh ganun na agad sa simula pa lang. It's the sudden change in the status quo that would tend to throw a wrench into a perfectly running machine. Good luck sa inyo!
That's a sad story then, it seem like your wife suddenly became greedy once her income increased. I guess it's hard to predict if someone will change that way, though there might be some some warning signs early in a relationship. It's sad because marriage is a partnership and pretty much everything has to be shared -- both blessings and sorrows, as the for "better or worse" in the marriage vows state. In fact our constitution was revised so that absolute community of property is the default status unless pre-nuptial agreements were made. It seems that the mindset of "akin lang ito," which is mostly fine when your single, reared its ugly head. It would have been different, say, if you were using the money for gambling or vices like drinking, if I were the girl then I'd certainly not give my spouse money to be wasted in such activities.
If I may ask, were you able to resolve that particular issue?
-- edited by Peorth on Nov 22 2014, 09:49 AM
1 Timothy 6:10
kami naman ni misis nagkakasundo naman kami sa sahod namin.. pero mas mataas talaga siya ng 30% saken... ok naman yung gastusin.. kaso bitin talaga... di na ako nakakabili new shoes...lols
If I may ask, were you able to resolve that particular issue?
Sadly, not yet. We're currently estranged and she's practically on her own. Tutal malaki naman ang sweldo nya at pera naman nya yun eh. So I'm sure she'll be fine taking care of all the finances.
Ewan lang kung magkakaroon pa kami ng chance ayusin yun in the future..
ok naman yung gastusin.. kaso bitin talaga... di na ako nakakabili new shoes...lols
Rumaket ka na lang ulet ng pag-pektyur pektyur! Ahahahaahaha! Kunan mo yung mga batang naglalaro tapos ibenta mo yung litrato sa magulang!
lols..makulong pa ako...hehe!
nagraraket naman, kaso pang shawarma lang talaga eh..hehe
Hindi magandang pagtalunan ang pera kung sino sa inyo ang may mas malaking sweldo. Ang pagaasawa ay pagtutulungan, pag uunawaan, pagaalaga sa isat isa at pakikisama hangang kamatayan kung tunay na nagiibigan kayo. Isa sa pinagaawayan ng mag asawa ang pera. Kaya nagaaway kung sino sa inyo ang malakas o mas mataas ang sweldo dahil un sa pride! Pwede din ugaling kayabangan at mapag malaki. Pag meron ganito ganyan mayabang lalo pag may pera o mas malaki kumita. Kung sino sa inyo ang malaki ang sweldo iwasan magyabang at pride para walang pagtatalo kung hindi magtulungan kayo kung paano niyo gagastusin at iipunin ang pera para sa inyong pamilya, pamilyang binubuo.
basta pera ang pinag uusapan, talo talo na yan...hahahaha
^sino ba ang may gusto ng conflict right? but sadly hindi nga maiiwasan lalo na kung involved na ang pera.. mga matalik na magkaibigan nga nag-aaway din kapag hinaluan na ng pera ang kanilang samahan..
anyway I can't relate to the topic kasi hindi pa naman ako kasal but I am glad napag usapan dito kasi may natutunan din ako.. siguro mainam nga na pag usapan talaga ng magpartner ang finances habang maaga pa (siguro around 5:30am.. just kidding) ng sa ganun eh alam ng isa't isa ang role nila pag sinimulan na nilang ipunin ang kanilang pera.. tsaka mainam din na isali sa usapan yung mga increase sa sweldo
sa mom at dad ko naman, parang never ko pa sila nakita nagtalo sa pera.. malaki ang kita ng mom ko kasi sya yung may hawak ng bisnes.. dad ko naman may sariling hobby (farming) although minsan name-mention din ng mom ko yung attitude ng dad ko pagdating sa pera.. dad ko kasi (according sa mom ko) yung mga kita nya sa farm eh kanya lang daw talaga.. nagpapahiram naman dad ko sa mom ko lalo na kung kelangan ng additional capital sa bisnes.. pero minsan nga daw kung gusto na gamitin ng dad ko yung pera nya kasi gusto nya bumili ng gamit (like tractor, motorcycle, TV, etc) eh sobra-sobra daw hinihingi nya LOL
ewan ko ano talaga arrangement nila pero whatever it is i believe okay naman kasi di ko talaga sila nakita nagtalo pagdating sa pera